Printer’s Law

By Arna M.

We have all been there. You have to be out of the house in 10 minutes and you still have to print your historical investigation (kudos to you for waiting until the last minute). O.K. And what happens? Your printer decides to take a prolonged nap and shut off and not do its job. And in turn? You overreact and panic and wonder what you ever did to deserve this inconvenience. Trust me, we all know that feeling.

But here is the surprise. Did you know that printers actually have no idea when you have to print and when not? Yes, I know. It is crazy. It has been scientifically proven numerous times that your printer does not have a mind of its own, and definitely does not enjoy imposing stress and trouble upon the human race.

Indeed, I know it is a shock to hear that you are of such utter unimportance to your beloved/hated printer, but when you feel the whole word (a.k.a. your printer) is against you, it is entirely coincidental… or is it?

It can certainly be a question of Murphy’s Law. Murphy’s law is a statement claiming that “Anything that can go wrong, will – at the worst possible moment.” (Basically the most pessimistic series of words ever to come out of someone’s mouth) It was made popular by science-fiction writer Larry Niven in “Finagle’s Law of Dynamic Negatives”. And boy is he right. It’s super negative.

In modern day, there can definitely be a connection between our love-hate relationship with printers and Murphy’s law. But maybe it is time to acknowledge your printer’s hard work and dedication instead of scolding it for sometimes making a mistake? After all, nobody is perfect… you know, unless you have superb self confidence.

A habit that goes absolutely horrible with the chance of Murphy’s law? Frequent procrastination. I know you are probably reading this, relaxing without worries. But what if I reminded you about that thing you have coming up. Yeah, come on, I know you know. That… test. Presentation. Interrogation. Group project. In-class essay. Exam. Yeah, one of those.

How do I know? Procrastination is a common practice. Yet somehow, it is incredibly inconvenient and unfavourable. Huh. How sad.

So, what is the solution?

Do not do things at the last minute. Yes, I know it is tempting to wait until the five minutes before your 2nd period class to sprint to the library and print 30 pages (I really do not know why anyone would do that), but you must organize yourself before all the printers of the world will plan revenge on you for all the amount of work and stress you present to them.

Be kind to your printers and respect their work hours. They have families to get to and are not happy when you decide to print a copy of the Bible at 1 in the morning. Come on. It has a family. Find another time, yeah?

So, in conclusion, printers do not actually detest us and enjoy seeing us cry out in stress. What a reassuring surprise. What are you waiting for? Work hard, print harder. I believe in you.


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